All That Matters

                                          

I am pretty sure we all shed tears today.

Over reading home work.

Over nap times.

Over the inability to crawl. 

Over other people's pain.

Over head aches.

Over teething.

Over our own restlessness. 

But in the end we are all here.

And all together.

And all healthy. 

And that's all that matters. 

Working on Me (or how I fight against feeling overwhelmed)

Anyone who knows me personally (or has even just talked to me over facebook) can probably tell you that I tend toward anxiety. I get overwhelmed, over excited, and over stimulated very easily. I am not sure how I have been like this, but I know it goes back to at least college if not high school or younger. I wish I would say it get’s better with age, but it seems to be getting more and more pronounced.  The worst part? I see the same tendencies in my oldest. Abi is overwhelmed and spins out of control. In a letter I wrote to her on her 6^th birthday I promised that, in order to help her learn coping techniques I would first work on finding some for myself. 

One of the things that send both of us into a full blown melt down is a messy house/bedroom. She doesn’t particular care if her room is a mess but if I ask her to clean it she is a puddle, and (though she doesn’t realize it) she is far calmer and centered when her room isn’t in chaos. For both of us the problem comes when things are so out control that the thought of even starting feels insurmountable. So, I thought I would share three tricks that are working for us. 

*Tea Kettle Timer: there are times when tackling the entire house just isn’t an option. It may be too late at night, or I’m not feeling well, or I am trying to fit a shower and rest time and cleaning into nap time, whatever the reason I just can’t think about trying to clean EVERYTHING! When that is the case my best course of action is to put the tea kettle on and work till it whistles. Most of the time I end up working in the kitchen doing dishes ect, but other times I will pick up the living room, or fold some laundry, or clean a bathroom. If I am almost finished with my task when the kettle whistles then I will finish it up while my tea steeps. Once my tea is steeped I’m done. I stop cleaning and sit down and enjoy my tea. It helps me stay productive with our working myself up into a major stress. Today I am battling a massive head ache for the third day in a row. I knew if I did nothing but veg all day I would feel a lot of guilt, but I also knew trying to tackle a lot was a bad idea for many reasons. So I put on the kettle, cleaned the kitchen, then sat down with my tea and started writing this post!

*15 Minutes: When my motivation is low, or I can’t figure out where to even begin, or it’s so hot the thought of cleaning all day makes me want to melt I set my timer for 15 minutes. I pick a task, any task and simply throw myself into it for 15 minutes. Some days when my brain just isn’t working I will even do this for writing. In the summer time when the heat is at it’s worst I will often stop when the timer goes off, drink a glass of cold water and let myself rest for 15 minutes while I sit in front of the fan. More often than not however once I get started I can find the gumption to keep going so the timer is set for another 15 minutes. Sometimes a friend and I will text each other, set our timers together and work for 15 minutes. At the end we check back in and share what we got done. The accountability is great! This also helps my kiddos with cleaning or really ANY task. Cleaning their entire room is tantrum inducing. Picking up for 15 minutes and then getting to read a book with Mom is a GREAT way to make a task feel manageable. Sometimes we even use this to STOP behavior. I.E. turn the TV off for 15 minutes, look at books quietly for 15 minutes, play outside for 15 minutes.  

*One Task/Ten Things: The other thing that works great for me and the kiddos is the “one task” or “ten things” approach. Instead of asking them to “clean their room” I ask them each to either tackle one task “pick up all the books” or “put away all the dolls”. The other thing we do is to each pick up x number of items. Pick up and put away ten, or 15, or 6 items. It breaks it down into manageable size jobs for them and keeps it kind of fun. Truth be told I do it for myself as well some times. Before going to bed I will stop and pick up and put away ten items, or collect all the dishes or trash that have scattered across my house during the day. 

I realize none of these are new ideas, and that a simple search of pinterest would probably provide this ideas and a dozen or more others. But I wanted to share what works for us because I promised Abi I would work on me, and sometimes working on ourselves means allowing for accountability and transparency.

Look Back, Looking Forward

Looking Back 

I keep trying to write a "Year in Review" post. For whatever reason it just hasn't been easy. I am not sure why. It's just hasn't been flowing. So, what do I do when my brain isn't working creatively?

I makes lists...

So..
I will remember 2013 as the year...

* Tacy was born
*Josh and I celebrated 7 years of marriage and...
*Did something we had been talk about for 8 years and went on a cruise
*Abi started Kindergarten
*Maddie started pre-school
*Fletcher, Emily, and Ezra moved back to VA and into our basement
*We learned the reality and beauty of doing life with some other people in a intimate some times messy way
*Tuesday Coffee Dates with three women I consider to be among my dearest friends
*Aunt Lila Died
*Stephen Died
*Blu Died
*We received far to many text messages about loved ones in the hospital 
*I put myself out there and got to reap the rewards of taking a chance
*We asked ourselves hard questions about who we were as a couple and a family and who we wanted to be and where we were going
*We made it out a live. Tired, weary, a little tender in places, but alive and excited for 2014.

 Looking Forward

So far I haven't really made any "Resolutions" for 2014. I am sure they may come, but at the moment I am focusing more on the projects I am pursuing this year as well as fleshing out my word for 2014 and how it will look to live that out. 

So far we are only six days into 2014 and have been faced with some interesting opportunities. So far nothing I am ready to discuss but let's just say if this year is trying to make a good first impression it is doing a remarkable job. 

A Christmas Prayer

May I be like the prophets willing to listen to the voice of God.

May I be like John the Baptist, willing to point others to Him.

May I be like Mary, willing to accept the Lord’s will.

May I be like Joseph, willing to bring other people’s trials into my own home.  

May I be like the Shepherds, willing to drop everything to worship the King.

May I be like the Wisemen, willing to offer my gifts, no matter what they may be, even if I find Him in the most unlikely place.

Enough

One word, over and over, rolling around in my head like a lone sock in the dyer.

Enough. 

Each time my heart starts pounding, my mind racing, the questions blooming faster than I can answer them, that still small voice echoes. 

Enough.  

My doubts, my fears, my insecurities all answered in this one question. 

A lot has gotten left by the way side this Christmas season.

Cookie supplies left in the pantry.

Christmas gift fabric left on the sewing table.

Activities scratched off the to do list. 

Enough.

Curbing my tendency toward over doing. The gifts we have already purchased are enough. 

Enough.

Over and over again I am reminded that our “enough” is someone’s abundance. 

Enough.

Showing up, in my spit up soaked pants, fully present, not distracted by unrealistic undone to-do lists, just resting in the waiting of Advent. That is enough. That is more than enough. It’s all that is asked of me.  

It Didn't Feel Like Christmas

Meetings, messes, school schedules, homework, dirty floors, dishes to wash, toys to pick up; it doesn’t feel like Christmas.

A new girl in town, body swollen with child, doubled over, ready to give birth, young husband by her side; it doesn’t sound like a holy invasion. 

Love your neighbor, turn the other cheek, give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, humble yourselves; it didn’t sound like a revolution.

Blessed are the meek, the humble, those who hunger and thirst, those who are persecuted and belittled; it doesn’t sound like salvation.

They were looking for a Savior. A political hero to rescue them from their oppression. Someone to get them out of the horrible mess they were in. 

What they got was the babe in the manger. Emanuel, God with us, not a savior from our circumstances, but God walking beside us, in the middle of our mess. 

Emanuel,

God,

The WORD,

The Light of the world,

With us….

Advent So Far

 

Advent so far has been lovely. Simple and slow. Not a ton of rushing around or "have to be there". Last year we had three or four parties, a show every weekend, a pile of custom orders, company in and out of town. This year has been full of last minute activities and engaging in whatever activity strikes our fancy in the moment.

Since I wasn't participating in shows I actually got to attend some this year. I had a wonderful time going to Vintage Lynchburg and Arts v. Craft today. Afterwards the girls and I went out to lunch at a favorite local restaurant of mine. I love introducing friends to new favorite places.

Other than that we have been staying in, baking cookies, drinking tea, practicing rolling over. Enjoying simple moments of the season. Over and over again I have been reminded of those who are dealing with loss this season. It has made me so thankful for this small little moments with those I love.

I am excited for 2014. I'm excited for the projects I am going to be working on and the stuff I'm getting involved in. But, for now I am enjoying the right here, right now, with a side of hot tea.