6/16/08

I Miss You.

My Husband and I were talking tonight and he mentioned how much he enjoyed something I wrote for him a long time. A life time ago. When we were first married. So, for him, here it is.

I miss you. Did you know that? I miss you when I am work. I miss you while I'm cooking dinner. I miss you while we are sitting next to each other on the sofa watching TV. I miss you at night while you are holding me in bed. It sounds foolish when I say it out loud. But it is real none the less. There are times when I am surprised that you can hold me so tight. I feel as though there is something between us. It's not a wall. If it is a wall I wouldn't be able to see you or touch you. No it's not a wall. It's a fence. It is a fence that allows me to look over and see you. You are on the happy side. You are on the side I want to be on. I can touch you to. I can reach over the fence and hold your hand. I can graze you with my finger tips. But ever time I try to pull you close that fence gets in the way.
I miss you. Did you know that? I miss you so much I've thought about climbing the fence. I've even tried. But I keep falling down and scraping up my knees. Once or twice I thought I found the gate. But when I pushed it was only a loose board, taunting me with glimpses of the other side. But to tight to wiggle through.
I miss you. Did you know that? I hate myself for building this fence. I know it's my fault. I built it to keep me safe. It was supposed to keep every one else out. Not you. I don't remember burying the key.
I miss you. Did you know that?