If we were having coffee today I would tell you that I am having tea and not coffee because I am spoiled and really only like Starbucks or other fancy over priced coffee. But I love me some Hot Cinnamon Sunset Tea.
If we were having coffee today I would tell you how I have been waiting for WEEKS for this book to hit the shelves of my local Barnes and Noble and that now that it has I can't seem to bring myself to purchase it because I have a hard time buying stuff for myself. This is why I have a cart full of business books in my Crafter's Choice shopping cart that I could purchase for just $30.00 but won't.
I would tell you about the note books at Barnes and Nobles I have been eye for months but won't buy for again the same reasons.
I would tell you about the thread I did by for myself/my shop the other day and how much have loved sewing with it this week and the beautiful dolls that I made with it.
I would tell you about how much fun I had having lunch with an IRL friend who happens to be the only one I know who blogs as much as I do. And how much fun it was sharing that love and passion with and talking with some one who understands the ups and downs.
I would tell you how excited my girls are to go to the movies tonight and how thrilled they were when I took them to the dollar store to buy candy (because I am so not above sneaking candy into the movie theater).
And I would tell you all of this stuff that doesn't matter because it's easier than telling you the stuff that does matter.
Like how I finally got a passionfruitads.com account and set up my first ad spot available on the blogs and how I am scared for months and months and no one will buy it. Because, as much as I love this blog world, I can't help feel like I am 11 years old again with three beautiful big sisters who are so much older, and so much cooler, and that I am some how just a little late to the game and unsure of myself.
And how that in so many sums up how I feel about so many things. Full of fear over failing at life, mother hood, marriage, house keeping, my faith, our finances. Fear for what is in the future for family and loved ones. How anxious I get in the "waiting". And how each day is a battle to trust what I know to be true over what I feel in the moment.
Or maybe I would share all the nothing because when you focus on all of that the something seems less important. And so I would ask you to pray that I would embrace the little, quit stressing the rest, and trust in truth. And then I would ask how I could pray for you?
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